The Truth Behind Pathological and Compulsive Liars

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The joke has been widely repeated and rephrased. Question 2 Can Someone be a liar while telling the truth? Also you may get the reason for the same. People often believe that their intentions justify the lie.

Have deceit, spin and misleading statements become commonplace in your communication? To keep up appearances, they paint a picture of themselves to others that is far more flattering than the reality. The Gāthās of Zarathustra Acta Iranica 8.

Why do people who are clearly caught in a lie, they know you know the truth and they know the truth, still continue on with their lie? I don't understand it.

Admit it: From time to time, you lie — at least a little. Your best friend asks what you think of her new haircut. It's awful, but you tell her it looks great. Lying is part and parcel of everyday life, saysprofessor of psychological and brain sciences and deputy chancellor at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. In a sense, lies are the lubricants that move social interaction forward,'' says Dr. But when lying gets out of control it can wreak havoc in your personal and professional lives — potentially destroying relationships and careers. Here's what you need to know about extreme lying. Pathological Liars Out-of-control lying is known as compulsive or pathological lying. Definitions are fluid, experts say. Compulsive liars have a need to embellish and exaggerate, saysa professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California in San Francisco and the author ofamong other books. They tell the stories they think want to be heard, he says. When you ask a compulsive liar for an opinion on an important issue, says Dr. I've actually been asked by the governor of California to comment on this. You often believe what they say — at least for a while. The two lying types are pretty similar, he says, and actually, ''You could be a compulsive pathological liar. Neither compulsive nor pathological lying has been studied extensively, say Feldman and Ekman. They know impulsivity and a need to impress could be linked to the habit. Liars' brains may differ structurally from the average brain. In a study inscientists did brain scans on pathological liars and others, and found that the liars had more white matter in the brain's prefrontal cortex. They concluded that the increase in white matter may somehow provide these super-liars with ''the cognitive capacity to lie. While everyday lies are goal-directed — you don't want to hurt the feelings of your overweight spouse — when you know the truth and they still lie lies often seem purposeless. Sometimes the lies are even self-incriminating, making them that much more difficult to figure out. Compulsive liars usually get away with it because they tell the lies we want to believe. Fortunately, neither type of liar is common, according to Feldman and Ekman. Ekman estimates fewer than 5 percent of people lie compulsively or pathologically. Can Compulsive or Pathological Liars Change. In Ekman's experience, most liars who are compulsive or pathological don't want to change enough to enter treatment. Usually they only do so when directed by court order, after they've gotten into trouble, he says. Or they do so after their lies have resulted in dire consequences such as bankruptcy, divorce, or loss of a career. Little research exists on treatment options for liars. Spotting, Living With, or Working for a Whopper of a Liar Can you tell on first meeting that someone might be a troubled liar. That means their charm, a characteristic of liars, may have worked its devilish magic. If a new friend or acquaintance shows his colors as a compulsive or pathological liar, the thing to do is walk away, Ekman says. While when you know the truth and they still lie closely tied to a pathological liar may stay optimistic that the liar will change, Ekman tells them: You also need to be a realist. Don't expect remorse, either, he says. Pathological liars will look at a situation entirely from their own perspective. They have no regard for another's feelings about what might happen as a result of their lies, Feldman says.

What really happened was I felt terrible about myself and when somebody makes us feel bad about ourselves, we tend to get hurt and move away. The ones we lie to may fail to solve problems they could have solved only on a basis of good information. They tend to talk more about others, often using the 3rd person point of view to disassociate from their lie. Often repeating the same thing but in different ways. If their reasons were really valid and true for lying, give them another chance and let them know that they should always feel free to come to you without any judgements.